WICKED: A Fruits Basket Crossover!
by Akito The Sex Goddess
Summary: The Untold Story of the Witches of the Sohma Family...speaks for itself. Fruits Basket parodying Wicked! Rated K. It's very innocent! Spoilers for both shows.


WICKED; The Untold Story of the Witches of the Sohma Family

**A/N** _So, I know, new story, haven't updated in ages. I can't apologize enough to you. So, I decided to make you a story and hopefully you all will forget about me being gone for so long EH HE HE …anyway, read on._

"Good news! She's dead!"

"Akito Sohma is dead!

Shouts spilled from the lips of the many residents of the Sohma family upon hearing the death of the head of their family. Finally, their pain and torment was over. At last! However, there was one figure who seemed…not as happy as everyone else. And as he entered, the room fell silent.

"Look, it's Shigure!"

"Sohma family," he began as he stepped into the center of the crowd. "Before you feel so…happy, you must ask yourselves, are people born wicked, or do they just have wickedness thrust upon them? After all, she had a father, and a mother, as most people do… And like every family, well, they had their secrets.

"Ren, you see, was the maid of Akira, the previous head of our family, of course…And well, one day…"

"_It's coming!"_

"_Now?"_

"_The baby's coming!"_

"_And how?"_

"And from the moment she was born," Shigure continued, shaking his head. "She was…well…different."

"_It's atrocious!"_

"_It's obscene"_

"_I think I'm going to hurl!"_

"He said such a thing, you see, because Akito was born…a girl. So you see, it couldn't have been easy for her!"

"No one mourns the wicked!" Yuki chimed in. "Now at last, she's dead and gone!"

The whole Sohma family cheered, and Shigure sighed, shaking his head. "Well, it looks like I should be going. I told Tohru-kun that I'd-"

"Shigure, is it true you were her lover?" asked the small Kisa. Everyone gasped in horror.

"Well…yes, but you must understand that we were both very young…Akito much younger than myself…"

The family waited in anticipation. Shigure sighed, turning to them.

"Alright, I suppose, I shall go ahead and tell you the story of how this came to be and all."

That day, when Akito walked into the school, she was followed by a few snickers and stares. It seemed that everyone knew her secret, but in reality they were only laughing at how short and pale and frail she was… She was so easy to tease, even if she were the future head of the family.

"What? Do I have something in my teeth?" Akito yelled angrily. "Let's just get this over with. I'm a boy, okay? I don't care what the rumors say!"

"Akito, stop making a fool of yourself," Ren, Akito's mother, chimed in as she followed her child into the school. "Now, you need to take care of your brother, Man-Akito."

"Who's Man-Akito?" the timid Ritsu asked quietly.

"You see, Man-Akito is Akito's anime version. In reality, he's her clone, but let's call him her brother for now, for the simplicity of the thing."

"Oh, okay."

"Now, let me get back to my story…"

"Yes, everyone," Akito said grumpily. "This is my brother, Man-Akito. Obviously, you can see that he is a perfectly normal-looking boy."

"Shut up, Akito, no one cares," Ren said, rather taught, before she turned to exit. Just as she left, however, a young, devilishly handsome man entered the room. That man was Ha'ri, I mean, Hatori.

"_Shut up, Shigure."_

"Hello, my name is Hatori, and since I'm the most responsible out of this family, I have been chosen to watch over you all. Now, as far as sleeping arrangements… Oh, Akito," he said, looking at her. "Since Man-Akito is the future head of the family, well, you could be too but…well frankly, no one likes you, he's been assigned his own suite. So, you're going to have to bunk with someone else."

"That isn't fair!" she protested, but I, taken by her odd beauty, raised my hand.

"She can bunk with me, Ha'ri!"

"THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT I AM-"

"Done!"

"Wait, how come you were 'taken by her odd beauty'? She looked like a wet rat!" shouted Hiro. "Uh…no offense, Yuki."

"Well, you see," began Shigure, scratching his chin as he thought about why he really did like Akito. Hatori sighed and chimed in before he could speak.

"It's because he gets horny over anything. Anyway, continue."

"Fine! Gah, Ha'ri, you're so mean to me!"

It came to be that later that night, we had to bunk together, and neither of us were really that thrilled. Well, I would have been, except the fact that every time I tried to talk to her or even look at her, she threw something at me. And eventually, we were screaming at each other about how much we hated her, though I was just saying it to egg her on, really. But then again, at the time, she was pissing me off.

Anyway, the next day, we were outside in the main commons, when suddenly, a young redheaded man entered the scene. I had been just about to tell Akito how I truly felt for her, when she turned and stared at him, agape, like he was the coolest thing since sliced bread.

I thought the bottom of my foot looked more handsome than him but, well, life goes on.

"_You know, I'm standing right here, Shigure."_

"_Oh, oops! Hee hee!"_

Anyway, back to my story…

"Who's that?" Akito asked, in a dazed sort of way. Ritsu turned to her and replied:

"Oh, that's Kureno. We don't know much about him, which makes him that much more mysterious…"

"Aha! At last, the Sohma estate!" Kureno cried with joy. Akito walked up to him, and I glared at him. Obviously, our feelings were very different…

Anyway, Kureno, being the cocky bastard he is—

"_Cut that out!"_

-….anyway, Kureno, being the cock that he is (come on, that one is even accurate!) grinned at Akito and the two began telling each other how they were perfect for each other or something of the sort.

"Hey, just wait a minute! Akito, I have to tell you how I feel about you!" I said, walking up to her. She took one look at me and said:

"Shigure, if you really love me, you will take Man-Akito over there to the dance. Then you'll be my _true_ hero. I mean look at him, look how unfortunate he is."

I looked at Man-Akito, then back at Akito. "…He's a man!"

"So?" she said. "Dress him up like a girl and see what happens. He looks enough like me. Besides, if you went with me, everyone would think you were gay anyway. It's the next best thing."

"So you knew she was a chick all along?" Hatsuharu asked, looking at me questionably. I nodded deeply.

"Yes, you see, I was there when she was born! Anyway…moving along…"

I ended up going to the dance with Man-Akito, who thought I was in love with him but it was quite the opposite, as I kept staring at Akito…however, when she began making out with Kureno, I decided to leave the party early.

So, I went to my best friend Aya's dormitory.

"Why doesn't she love me?" I asked him. Aya thought for a moment.

"Well, that Kureno fellow looks rather strapping…And he's quite popular with the ladies…That's it! Popular! I'm gonna make you _popular_!"

And so, after a song and very slight translation, I was deemed to be the next coolest thing…even cooler than Kureno _and_ sliced bread. Put together!

"_You're rambling."_

"_Oh, sorry, Kyon-Kyon. Moving along."_

The next day in class, I was wearing one of Aya's outfits, feeling more popular than ever but not exactly happy...

Akito took one look at me and said, "You look stupid. You look like you've been Ayame-fied. Cut it out, it's creeping me out."

And rejected, once again, I realized that Akito was the girl for me…but I was not the boy for her.

That night, it struck me that in order to have Akito love me, I would have to go to the Wonderful Wizard of Tokyo…otherwise known as The Great Kazuma. He wasn't really a wizard, but he did know a lot of kung-fu.

So, I said my goodbyes to my friends and was about to head off, but Aya decided to accompany me on my trip! So, we headed off to the big city of Tokyo, straight to the Great Kazuma's dojo.

When we entered, however, we were greeted by the scariest woman both Aya and I had ever seen. She was clad completely in black, with eyes like coal, and skin like ice…

"Oh, that's just my new cook!" Kazuma had explained, and she was on her way.

"Oh Great Kazuma, I need some help!" I said in a pleading tone.

"Oh, I know you do. You want Akito to love you! And I will grant your wish, once you do something for me…" he said.

"Oh, I'll do anything! What do you need, your Kazumaness?"

"I need…a present for my Hana-chan, my Saki-chan, my secretary, the one I love!" he cried. Aya perked up.

"Oh, I can make her a dress!"

"Really? That would be wonderful! Now we can take over the world!"

"Wait, WHAT?" Aya and I shouted.

"You heard me!"

"Oh, now I'm definitely not making that dress."

"FINE! THEN I WILL CURSE YOU SO THAT AKITO WILL NEVER LOVE YOU!" Kazuma said, then used the biggest microphone you've ever seen to announce to the world, "AKITO SOHMA, YES, THE SHORT SCRAWNY ONE, NO NOT THE ONE WITH BLUE EYES, BUT BROWN, SHE'S THE GIRL ONE, YES, IS EVIL! THE FIRST PERSON TO KILL HER FOR ME GETS ALL THE MONEY I HAVE!"

So, people were sent out to kill Akito.

"Come on, Shishou is nothing like that!" Kyou yelled.

"I agree," Kazuma said, quietly. Haru shushed them.

"Shh, this is a good story."

Akito went into exile. She couldn't stay known to the public because otherwise people were going to kill her. And because Man-Akito looked a lot like her, minus his eyes, he stayed in hiding, too. But one day, Akito went to visit him, only to hear that their father, Akira, had died, and that Man-Akito was in possession of a box that held his soul.

However, under some unfortunate misunderstandings, Man-Akito was mistaken for his sister and was therefore killed, and Ren took the box.

Akito fought Ren for the box, because it was the only memory of both her brother and father, however, amidst the fight, the townspeople of Tokyo found Akito and killed her.

"That's so sad!" Tohru had said. She was crying, and Kyou and Yuki were doing their best to comfort her. "She really wasn't wicked at all!"

"No, you see…and now she's dead and gone, and I will never see her again! Nor will I ever hold her in my arms…" Shigure said.

"I thought that story was about how she was _your_ lover, not Kureno's."

"Well, I left out a few details…"

"Yeah! And why did they all just believe Kazuma?"

"And where did he get that microphone!"

"SILENCE!" came a voice from the door. Everyone turned their heads.

"Akito!" they all chimed in unison.

"We thought you were dead!" Tohru yelled, tears in her eyes. Akito growled.

"I'm not dead! I was just trying to sleep! And you guys were being too loud!"

"So, wait…that story isn't true?" Haru asked. Angry shouts erupted from the crowd, and Shigure thought it was the best time for him to escape, except when they noticed him, everyone started slowly walking towards him, until they had formed a circle around him, with malicious looks in their eyes. All except Ayame, who tried to defend him, Hatori, who hadn't believed it all from the start, and Akito, who had no idea what was going on.

"Akii-chan! Help meeeee!" Shigure screamed before the family jumped him.

"No," Akito yelled back. "I'm dead, remember?"

And so, it was just another night in the Sohma household, and as the family was about to maul Shigure to death, with the dog crying for help, Hatori listened as he leaned against the wall, a smirk playing on his lips, realizing the odd truth in Shigure's meaningless story.

_No one mourns the wicked._

…_that includes you, Shigure._


End file.
